To start off with, Shrek is strong enough to collapse a tree, lift up a large steel gate with one hand, and beat up armored knights while being restrained by dozens of them! Wiz: Over the next few years, Shrek would continue to have amazing adventures, such as stopping the Fairy Godmother from ruining his relationship with Fiona, defeating Prince Charming to get Artie crowned king, and reversing a contract that altered the universe.īoomstick: None of these would've happened if it wasn't for Shrek being combat-worthy. I think I hate Shrek now just for introducing that.
Hitler vs skeleton superhero battle finger family movie#
Farquaad was left outraged and ordered his knights to execute Shrek once and for all, up until Dragon ate him alive!īoomstick: Shrek's first journey ended with the dreaded animation movie cliche - a dance party with a pop song playing throughout. Wiz: Now that the sun had set by this point, Fiona permanently transformed into an ogre in front of everybody.
This in turn also hurt Fiona, who went to accept Farquaad's marriage.īoomstick: Unexpectedly, Donkey saved the day by informing Shrek that Fiona was referring to herself, and they crashed Fiona and Farquaad's wedding with the help of Dragon. Thinking Fiona was talking about him, Shrek left heartbroken and returned to his swamp. Wiz: Fiona was sadly talking about how nobody could love an ugly creature. At first, Fiona was disappointed she didn't end up with a handsome prince, but overtime, she warmed up to Shrek, and they fell in love with each other.īoomstick: That night, however, Shrek overheard a conversation between Fiona and Donkey right before he was about to confess his feelings towards Fiona. Shrek rescued Fiona and escaped Dragon by cleverly trapping her with chains. Wiz: The duo went to a castle Fiona was locked away at, but entering was easier said than done, given how it was home to a dragon!īoomstick: Don't worry, Donkey charmed the dragon and literally had SEX WITH HER. Farquaad quickly realized he underestimated this ogre, so he cut him in with a simple deal - if he were the one to save Fiona, he would get his swamp back. Farquaad didn't take this lightly, so he commanded every knight to kill Shrek for the title of a champion.īoomstick: Good thing that backfired when Shrek defeated all of them using his wrestling moves. This enraged Shrek enough for him and Donkey to travel over to Duloc, where they interrupted a tournament on which knight will rescue Princess Fiona.
Wiz: This happened to be the work of Lord Farquaad, who is based on Michael Eisner, mind you.
What I meant to say was it could've been peaceful had it not been for fairy tale characters, such as the Three Little Piggies and the Big Bad Wolf, coming over to Shrek's swamp. Donkey was so grateful that he repeatedly annoyed Shrek until he convinced him to stay the night outside of his swamp.īoomstick: Which could've been peaceful had it not been for fairy tail-īoomstick: Whoops, I didn't mean to reference something that entirely consists of fanservice and filler. Wiz: Donkey was being chased by guards from Duloc, up until Shrek scared them away without even having to lay a finger on them. Shrek: It's the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go "Aaaahhh, help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly ogre!" They judge me before they even know me.that's why I'm better off alone.īoomstick: His misery would be short-lived once he rescued a talking donkey named.Donkey. until it's revealed he felt excluded from the rest of the world due to his sheer appearance, and that he's better off by himself. Which initially paints him as an intimidating monster. Anyway, during the first time we see Shrek, we see him scaring away a group of angry villagers from his swamp. Shrek: He used to bathe me in barbecue sauce and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth.īoomstick: What the hell? Even I wouldn't go that far. A lot of his background remains a mystery outside of the questionable musical, but according to Shrek's own words in Shrek the Third, his father was a cannibal who had attempted to eat him. Wiz: Shrek is a seven-foot ogre who, as you may or may not know, is based on the namesake character from the William Steig book. Wiz: Boomstick, I already told you to not reference dead memes before starting this.īoomstick: Goddammit.
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